Only Oregon Humor from Jeff Foxworthy

11 10 2011

It was hard to stay on the topic of real estate after reading this one, so I thought I would post this for a little lighter lift to the day.

Flagstaff Hill on the Oregon Trail

‘LIVING IN OREGON’ by Jeff Foxworthy

  • If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they don’t work there, you live in Oregon.
  • If you’ve worn shorts, sandals and a parka at the same time, you live in Oregon.
  • If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Oregon.
  • If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Oregon.
  • If you feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash, you live in Oregon.
  • If you have switched from ‘heat’ to ‘A/C’ and back again in the same day, you live in Oregon.
  • If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both doors unlocked, you live in Oregon.
  • If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Central, Southern or Eastern Oregon.
  • If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a 2 layers of clothes or under a raincoat, you live in Oregon.
  • If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow and ice, you live in Oregon.
  • If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Oregon.
  • If you know more than 10 ways to order coffee, you live in Oregon.
  • If you know more people who own boats than air conditioners, you live in Oregon.
  • If you measure distance in hours, you live in Oregon.
  • If you stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the “Walk” signal, you live in Oregon.
  • If you consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain, you live in Oregon.
  • If you can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle’s Best, and Dutch Bros, you live in Oregon.
  • If you know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon, you live in Oregon.
  • If you know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Clatskanie, Issaquah, Oregon, Umpqua, Yakima and Willamette, you live in Oregon.
  • If you consider swimming an indoor sport, you live in Oregon.
  • If you know that Boring is a city and not just a feeling, you live in Oregon.
  • If you can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food, you live in Oregon.
  • If you never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho, you live in Oregon.
  • If you have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain, you live in Oregon.
  • If you think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists, you live in Oregon.
  • If you buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time, you live in Oregon.
  • If you actually understand these jokes, you live or have lived in Oregon.